Supporting Healthy Sibling Conflict

Ms. Lina

With a calm presence and consistent boundaries, children can turn sibling squabbles into opportunities for connection and maturity.

During summer break, many families find themselves spending more time together - and that often means more opportunities to witness sibling conflict up close. At AIMS, where so many of our families have older and/or younger siblings, these moments are a natural part of daily life.


As both a Montessori educator and a mom of two, I know firsthand how challenging (and surprisingly productive!) sibling disagreements can be. While they might sound loud or look messy, these moments are powerful opportunities for children to develop essential life skills.


In Montessori, we believe sibling conflict is not only normal, it’s also healthy. Just like in the classroom, where children take turns talking and listening with care (see our earlier Peace Rose blurb), the home environment can be a space for respectful problem-solving and emotional growth.


Instead of stepping in as the referee, consider taking on the role of a calm, neutral guide. Ask yourself:

  • Are both children safe?
  • Is this a moment where they might learn something through the conflict itself?
  • Can I support without solving?


Here are some age-appropriate strategies:


Toddlers (18 mo – 2.5 yrs)

  • Use simple, clear language: “You want the toy. Your brother has it. Let’s wait.”
  • Offer alternatives or distraction rather than forced sharing.


Preschoolers (3–6 yrs)

  • Narrate neutrally: “It looks like you both want the same puzzle.”
  • Introduce visual tools like a timer or turn-taking object (e.g., Peace Rose or a talking stick).


Lower Elementary (6–9 yrs)

  • Encourage “I” statements: “I felt left out when you didn’t let me join.”
  • Ask guiding questions: “What’s a fair solution for both of you?”


Upper Elementary (9–12 yrs)

  • Reflect after the moment: “What worked? What could you do differently next time?”
  • Invite collaboration: “Can you come up with a solution together?”


With a calm presence and consistent boundaries, children can turn sibling squabbles into opportunities for connection and maturity.


As Maria Montessori once said: “Character formation cannot be taught. It comes from experience and not from explanation.”


By Ms. Lina, Primary Educator

By Ms. Savannah November 4, 2025
A thriving Montessori environment is never built by educators alone. It blossoms through the partnership between school and home. In our classroom, we have already seen how family involvement enriches children’s experiences, strengthens their confidence, and fills our days with excitement and connection. This year, many of you have shared pieces of your family life with us, and those moments have made a meaningful impact. From coming in to read with the children, to supporting class events, to sending us stories of your child’s growth at home. Each gesture has helped create a sense of belonging that children can feel. When children see the adults in their world working together, they move through their day with greater ease, trust, and joy. Here are a few ways family engagement helps build our classroom community: Shared Values & Consistency at Home and School: Small routines at home such as encouraging children to dress themselves, take responsibility for their belongings, or help with food preparation mirror the independence we nurture at school. Children feel grounded when expectations are aligned. Grace, Courtesy & Respectful Communication: When families model taking turns to speak, greeting others warmly, and using kind, respectful language, children carry those same practices into their social interactions at school. Celebrating Families and Cultures: When a parent shares a family tradition, a favorite recipe, or a cultural celebration, the classroom becomes a place where every child feels seen and valued. These exchanges help children appreciate diversity and build connections with one another. One of my favorite parts of Montessori is that it is a community journey. We, as educators, are learning alongside you: observing, reflecting, and growing every day. Your questions, curiosity, and partnership inspire us to deepen our practice and support your children in meaningful ways. As we continue through the year, I invite you to stay connected in ways that feel comfortable for your family whether that means joining a classroom event, practicing independence routines at home, or simply sharing a moment of your child’s joy or success. Every bit of involvement brings richness to our shared community.  Thank you for all the ways you support our classrooms. Your presence truly makes a difference, and we are grateful to be walking this Montessori journey with you.
By Ms. Katie October 7, 2025
“Within the child lies the fate of the future.” – Maria Montessori